SPEWEY doing what he does best.

SPEWEY's species are a strange species native to an unknown planet.


This species are short bipeds with scaly, leathery skin, a big belly, and a short tail. They have an elongated skull, pointed ears, chubby cheeks, widely spaced eyes, four holes for a nose, and two antennae. They also have three-fingered clawed hands and tridactyl feet, with two toes in the front and one in the back. It is unknown if they have male or female genders, but the one individual seen is constantly referred to as "he".  

They have many characteristics which a human would consider gross. The most obvious was their ability to spew a brown liquid from their mouths and two holes on their forehead, which can reach a lengthy distance. They also apparently smell like a sewer. Another ability was to excrete a pudding-like substance from their elbows, which seems tolerable enough to eat by humans. They also are apparently edible, being considered delicious and having their own sauce when cooked.

Aside from the disgusting habits, the species seems to be hard to kill, with one individual being able to regenerate itself in an accelerated cloning process even after being chopped up. They can also survive having their head twisted all the way around and falling from a great distance. However, they do not seem to be immune to pain, with some symptoms including the pudding-like substance turning a different color and tasting like garlic (especially after the fifth helping) and sounding like a jack-in-the-box when shaken.


Not much is known about this species culture. Their language seems to consist of gurgling grunts and growls, if this could even considered to be the way they communicate. They appear to be an aggressive species, attacking anyone in sight, although it is unknown if this trait concerns the whole species or just the one individual seen, who was probably easily angered, frightened or extremely anti-social. Their technology can also be put into question as to how advanced it is, for instead of using anything like tractor beams, they use rope to pull things into their ship. They obviously cannot fly.


A member of this species crash lands into the front yard of Chris Peterson. Chris, being the child-like idiot that he is, compared the experience with that of meeting ALF or E.T. when it was nothing like that at all, with the creature constantly attacking him and those around him. He named the creature SPEWEY (which was short for Special Person Entering the World Egg Yolks) for its most obvious ability. Chris' acquaintances wanted the creature gone, with his roommate Gus trying to sell it to Michael Jackson's private zoo and his best friend's wife Sharon calling the government. But Chris tries to leave with SPEWEY E.T. style on a bike and tried to fly off a cliff, with hazardous results. This confuses Chris, because "who ever heard of a space alien who couldn't magically fly?" The creature did not look so well after the experience, so Chris went to the store to get some alien medicine, which he surprisingly finds (in regular and non-drowsy formulas). But when he came back, he discovers Gus killed SPEWEY with a rake for spewing on him one too many times (giving him a rash) and made food out of him, which both considered very tasty. The governmnent officials learn of this and wanted the leftovers when they were done. But later on they found out that SPEWEY regenerated from the leftovers in the refrigerator. In a gesture of what could be considered being fed up, the creature storms out of the house, where a ship comes to pick SPEWEY up using a rope to pull it in. But not before it gives Chris and Gus one last goodbye spew.


  • SPEWEY and Me

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