Wikia

Alien Species

Silastic Armourfiends of Striterax

7,486pages on
this wiki
Talk0

The Silastic Armourfiends of Striterax were a prodigiously aggressive species who lived about twenty billion years ago. These warmongering creatures had many enemies and dedicated their lives to all forms of combat against other races and against themselves.

Culture and HistoryEdit

The best way to pick a fight with an Armourfiend was to be born. So hostile were they that the best way to kill one of them was to lock himself alone in a small room and wait for him to start beating himself to death. Most of their civilization existed inside deep underground bunkers since the surface of planet Striterax was constantly being wrecked by war.

The Silastic Armourfiends once thought of a way to diminish their violence issues by promoting a new law that ordered anyone who had to carry a weapon as part of their daily profession (such as policemen, security guards and school teachers) to spend at least 45 minutes a day beating up a sack of potatoes to put out the excess of viciousness. This actually worked until somebody suggested just shooting the potatoes instead, and they ended up getting excited, thus starting the wars again.

Although brutish, the Silastic Armourfiends demonstrated intelligence and technical capacity by building a large, sophisticated super-intelligent computer called Hactar, which they asked to project and build the ultimate weapon; a spherical device which, upon activation, would link the center of all stars in the universe via hyperspace channels, thus causing all the suns to simultaneously go supernova. However, believing that no possible circumstance would ever justify the use of such a thing, Hactar intentionally created a defective one. Furious, the Armourfiends pulverized the computer, which retained its intelligence and, after millions of years, decided to take up his original task again. Reassembling itself into a cloud of dust surrounding the planet Krikkit, it slowly influenced the evolution of the Krikkiters into the most xenophobic and destructive species known to history (though oddly, they were also calm and sophisticated most of the time). As for the Silastic Armourfiends, they soon discovered a whole new way of blowing up themselves and presumably became extinct; a great relief to the species they used to fight with such as the Strenuous Garfighters of Stug, the Strangulous Stilletans of Jajazikstack and the potatoes of course.

Around Wikia's network

Random Wiki